Jokes

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JOKES

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual." \
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
No Fear: One Sunday an old biker walks into church and sits down in the front row. As the preacher is beginning his sermon, the devil suddenly appears at the altar. The members of the congregation, including the preacher himself, flee the church in terror, all except for this one old biker in the front row. The devil notices this one biker still in the church and walks down from the altar to confront him. He roars at the man, "Do you know who I am?" "Why of course I know who you are," the man calmly replies. "You're Satan." "And you're not afraid of me like the others?" the devil asks somewhat miffed. To which the biker replies, "No. Why should I be? I've been married to your sister for the last 25 years."